How to Climb Off the Merry-Go-Round of Relapse
July 2021 By The Word Jester
There is a belief which maintains that relapse is an inherent part of addiction and recovery. Certainly, research indicates a baffling proclivity for drug addicts and alcoholics to slip. That word is a frequently mentioned reference to relapse in recovery circles. SLIP equals a point where sobriety lost its priority.
Nevertheless, there are no steadfast rules insisting that we must go back out, or slip as we say. There are enough individuals who are part of recovery programs that share their experience as being “once-in stayed-in” miracles. These individuals never had to climb off the merry-go-round of relapse because they never climbed on to begin with.
Recovery fellowships affectionately call them one-chip-wonders. But, why does there have to be a magical allusion for someone who decides to get clean and sober the first go-round, and then do what it takes to stay that way? What can we do to stop the maddening carousel of addiction from spiraling around in an insane circle?
How can we climb off the merry-go-round of relapse? If some can stay clean and sober on the first shot, what does it take? During our journey, we’ve heard a few sensible suggestions from those who have never relapsed. It appears that their simple model has worked. Nevertheless, when rules and guidelines are mentioned to addicts and alcoholics, the hair on the back of our neck stands on end.
So, we’ll refer to these two keys as suggestions. While they’re only suggestions, so too is the thought of pulling the cord on a parachute when you jump out of an airplane. No one is making you yank the cord, but it’s highly recommended. The consequences are rather abysmal. So too can be the consequences of another relapse for an addict or alcoholic.
In fact, the ultimate consequence of each situation could end up being the same end result. Let’s talk about two useful tools we all should use in our program. Recovery principles insist we need to stay connected, but avoid places wrought with temptation. These are two things that can help you climb off the merry-go-round of relapse.
Build Connections
It shouldn’t be farfetched to understand how strategies applied to real-life situations that improve our circumstances, might have a similar usefulness in our recovery. When we’re looking for a new place to live or a better job, we call it networking. In recovery, they’re called connections. They’re people who appreciate staying clean and sober requires effort.
If you’ve ever attended a large recovery-based meeting for the first time, you may be fortunate enough to have an astute soul pass around a meeting schedule asking for willing folks to add their phone number. Some feel we should be doing this ourselves. The idea is to establish connections with fellow addicts and alcoholics.
These lists are a gift, but only if we use them. It’s not just a list of numbers we think about calling when things get tough. Usually when we wait to the point things are going awry, it’s too late. We grow our recovery connections by reaching out. At least we don’t have to hunt down change for a dollar to make a call.
To work, we must take advantage of the help that is so freely available. These connections can help us through tough times, but most of all, be an understanding voice can help halt a relapse in its tracks. Connections in your recovery can’t guarantee you won’t experience an urge to slip. But, if you’ll use them your odds of staying on the right path are dramatically improved.
Avoid Triggers
Just like the assorted brands of alcoholic beverages or types of addictive drugs, triggers for relapse come in all different flavors. The drug or the alcoholic beverage isn’t usually the culprit. Something happens in our recovery that leaves us vulnerable to these triggers. When we foolishly expose ourselves to these triggers, we open the door for a slip.
Triggers can be subtle things such as old party hangouts, old friends who still drink or use, or otherwise innocent situations that spark urges and cravings. In early recovery especially, it’s strongly suggested that we avoid all situations, which could be prone might trigger urges. These situations can dilute our good common sense desire to stay the course in our recovery.
Nearly everyone in recovery has various triggers. Many are the same for the majority who aspire to recover and live a clean and sober life. The most common relapse triggers are things we often discuss in recovery groups. It could be bars, nightclubs, big crowds, or a lonely night on the couch with your favorite crutch.
It might sound like a joke, but there’s an old saying about tempting your triggers. If you go to the barbershop enough times, there’s good chance you’re going to eventually get a haircut. Funny, but seriously applies to triggers for recovering addicts and alcoholics. To live a clean and sober life, we must be vigilant in guarding against our triggers.
Recovery is a journey, not a destination. It’s also not a race. Our journey begins when we become open minded enough to ask for help. Once you find the courage to admit you’re beaten, there are hundreds waiting to offer their hope. Getting and staying clean and sober takes effort. It also takes the help of others.
Begin making connections today, and battle to avoid those things that trigger the baffling urges to pick up. You may not be a one-chip-wonder. Few can boast of such. However, if you’ve fought to climb off the merry-go-round of relapse, you can. These two suggestions can help you make clean and sober your new reality.
The Word Jester is not affiliated with any recovery fellowship or program.
The opinions expressed in this story are the exclusive viewpoints of the author.
They do not reflect the points of view, policies, or principles of any agency or organization.